Wednesday, September 26, 2012

THE NOT-SO-COLLEGE-THING.

As per the ritual, I thank my dear friend KADAMB KALUSKAR. Although, this time for a different reason, that, He didn't  poke his nose while I was drafting this article.
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I don’t like going to college anymore.  I have friends there, and with them, the time flies away. And that’s where the problem starts. The same time which sprints with BOLT’s speed when I’m with my friends, starts crawling with turtles’ pace when I’m attending class.



 And really, I just hate the idea of “the under-literates trying to literate 45-50 students by unequally littering the so less knowledge they possess with so little concern whether there littering is becoming fruitful or not !!!”  In normal case, the time allotted to each lecture is 50 minutes, which already is sufficient enough to put a healthy brain into serious troubles. And icing on the cake, the ‘under-literates’ never forget to insult you personally by the end of each lecture. ! There are 7 lectures per day. That means you suffer Seven times a day with the-personal-insult-session with those people who think of themselves as nothing less than Mr. Einstein/ Newton/Archimedes (....and all the other names I can’t enlist here, and also the ones whom I m unable to think of presently.)

This is not the only thing, they torture you with. If they are in a mood of bigger entertainment, they have your parents’ contact number. They first torture you with “ I have your parents’ contact number” for 15-30 minutes. Then they make up a brilliant story of any of the activities you’ve done in their lecture...and as per Indian tradition, they never forget to use spices over there newly made recipes. And if the ‘under-literate’ is Indori, please add sev and jeerawan to the recipe!  And this entire spiced recipe hurts your ass for a next few days. In case, your college is not in your hometown, this recipe can (and will) hurt your wallet rather than your ass!!! * I PERSONALLY PREFER ASS OVER WALLET *

And the story doesn’t end here; they have stories from their childhood to tell you!! “What a maverick child they were. Never did anything wrong in their college life, studied well. Maintained distance with the opposite sex. Always respected their teachers, followed whatever they said, paid full attention to studies; inside the class or outside it, immaterial. ... Bla blaa...blaa... ”  And then comes this question into your mind, “With all due respect towards you and your childhood, may I please ask, sir, that even after so promising childhood, why did you end up here ? !!”. *There’s one more question I have an urge of asking them, “While in your childhood, did you even followed a protocol while going/or asking to go to the toilet, sir?” *

 Mid-way through, if something starts cooking in your mind, even something stupid, and you smile (not intentionally), they have another, bigger package ready for you. The TC thing. And you are like, thank you so much for bringing up this topic, I was just thinking of leaving this college.
They know it, You know it, Everyone in this world knows it, THEY WON’T GIVE YOU TC. But no, this is a threat for which they have longed to give to someone for over decades. Goes another hour.

There are many more such things which may happen to you. But they include very normal activities; common-scolding, pinching your arm, shouting for no reasons...
I believe I've made my point.  I DON'T LIKE GOING TO COLLEGE ANYMORE !!!



PS: - I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE ‘UNDER-LITERATES’ BECOMES THE BEST STORY-TELLERS OF THE WORLD WHEN IT COMES TO TELLING STORY TO YOUR PARENTS.